Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Sarcasim, Toilets, and Cell Phones...

This will probably be one of the funniest posts I have ever written. I wish I could lay claim to every funny thing, but alas... it is my smart ass 3 year old that gets to do that. Over the past few weeks my son’s innate ability to be a complete sarcastic ball of energy has been on hyper drive. So after the… uhm, how shall I put this… fiasco (?) last night I have decided I need to share these few little pearls of my life with him, with all of you. Enjoy!

*After spending the day with his OGM and OGD (other grandparents):

I come in to find him playing with a new train set and Kelly. He is so excited he starts trying to tell me all about it, and his allergies kick in. He then coughs…

Me (Hoping he is not getting sick): Hey little man, where’d that cough come from?

Jerrod (Looking at my with the straightest face): My mouth.

Me (As I try not to explode from the inside out with laughter: Yes, huney you’re right. It came from you mouth.

*After being around his father for a while.

We are at the house playing and watching ‘Choo Choo Thomas.’ (Thomas the Tank Engine for those of you that don’t know the language of Jerrod.) I look up to find him trying to color on the carpet with a crayon.

Me: Jerrod! Do NOT do that. If I see you do that again, I will spank you. Do you understand me?

Jerrod: Yeash ma’am. (Pronounced Yayysssshhh)

Me: Bring me the crayons. You can’t color for a while.

Jerrod (Looking so pitiful with a trembling bottom lip.): NO!

Me (Slowing counting to ten and talking through my teeth.): Jerrod, bring them to me right now, or I will spank you.

Jerrod (In the most angelic sing song tone of voice): No you won’t.

Me (Giving up on counting to ten and moving closer to him.): Jerrod, come here right now!

Jerrod (Looking a little concerned.): Momma…

Me: What??

Jerrod: I be good. I love you.

Me (Cracking a little.): I love you too Jerrod, but bring me the crayons.

Jerrod (Now looking quite pissed off, speaking under his breath.): Dayumit. (**Please note: I don’t encourage my son to talk like this, this is a results of being around his father that cusses constantly {I cuss also, so as not to lay all the blame on Steve} and he did receive a spanking for the crayon bit. Thank you, you may now continue.)

*Last night.

I have a new interest in my love life, so I have been talking to him a lot of the past few days. I normally reserve this for at night, after Jerrod is down for the night. I do this for a few reasons. One, Jerrod is quite a loud child, and it is hard to carry on a conversation when there is a screaming heathen in the house and / or car with you. The other reason is that he tends to get a little jealous of Momma laughing with someone else and not him. This behavior is not only reserved for when I am on the phone, but when I am around someone for too long also. I digress… to the point: I had to talk to the new interest a little earlier than usual, as he had a softball game to attend. Jerrod was unusually quiet and reserved. I, being the gullible Momma that I am, chalked it up to him watching a new episode of ‘Choo Choo Thomas’ and eating a Happy Meal. Yeah, let’s just say Momma was wrong. Very wrong.

-Coming out of my bedroom I notice Jerrod is no longer in the living room.

Me: Jerrod? Where are you baby?

Jerrod: Here me Momma.

Me (Looking around and back tracking to his bedroom): Where?

Jerrod (Peaking his head out from the bathroom): Here!

Me (Bad feeling starting to sink in): Jerrod, what are you doing in the bathroom? Get back in here.

I start walking back to the living room when I hear:


Jerrod: Uh oh…


Me (Bad feeling gone, terror sinking in.): Jerrod… what did you do?

Jerrod (Looking a little terrified and smiling at me like an angel): Momma’s hello (Translation: My cell phone.) bye bye.

Me (Starting to freak the fuck out.): What do you mean: ‘Momma’s hello bye bye’??

Jerrod: You come see. Momma’s hello bye bye.

Me: JERROD!!! (Did you know that a Sony Ericsson flip phone, will not only flush, but not clog up the toilet either??? Yeah, me either.) WHY DID YOU FLUSH MOMMA’S PHONE SON???

Jerrod: Hello bye bye. No more talky.

Me (Realizing I am losing the battle here, not to mention my patience.): What do you mean…. Never mind. Get in the car.

-Fast forward 10 minutes as we arrive at my mother’s house. I don’t have a land line so I couldn’t call her.

Mother (Looking slightly puzzled): Hey… What are you guys doing here?

Me: Well… I would have called, but your lovely grandson has just flushed Mommy’s phone down the toilet.

Mother (Trying her dayumdest not to laugh): Jerrod!?! Why did you flush Mommy’s phone??

Jerrod (Smiling and looking like the angel his grandmother thinks he is): Momma’s hello bye bye. You buy her new one?

Me (Coughing to cover a laugh): Well, I guess that explains it then Mom.

Gotta love him. Even when he does something bad, he is still trying to spoil his Momma! LMAO

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey guys, I hope you all have a great and Happy Thanksgiving!! Things are crazy for me right now, but I might have some updates come Monday! Love to you all!

Friday, November 17, 2006

Everyone out of the water!!

Helllloooooo! I’m back… Yes, I know I have been away for a while. But you can all breathe a sigh of relief now... I am back! YAY! Ok, enough with the jokes. I have been doing some thinking over the last few days, and I am going to touch on something I talked about a long time ago. Let me take you back to here. Yes, the fishes. I think I have thought about it enough and I have come up with a few more questions or theories. Let’s just see what you have to say… he he he.

As I said before, and is common knowledge, that men are referred to as sharks. Well, I have broken down some of these sharks, at least in my own mind, to see if I can’t help pick the good from the bad.

Angel Shark- This species is easily spotted by the markings that look like tire marks up and down the back. It is known for is ability to make women swoon and kill at the same time. It is a very shy species and is usually picked on by the other species. It tends to treat the women with respect, but it acts almost like a door mat at times. Good qualities: Loyal, caring, romantic, and smart; Bad qualities: Jealous, immature, homebody, and geeky.

Basking Shark- Commonly spotted by it’s inability to quit looking at it’s self. (Also known as: Prettyboy Shark or Conceited Shark) It is known for it’s ability to make just about every woman in a ten mile radius look at it’s beauty and then want cry for feeling less beautiful. It is a very outgoing species and is usually looked upon by all other species, thus fueling it’s self esteem. It tends to treat women as trophies, meaning that if you date this species you are only being dated because it makes them look even better. Good qualities: Good looking, sexy, and out going; Bad qualities: Conceited, immature, and uncaring.

Bull Shark- Easily spotted by the chip on the shoulder complex and ability to blend in and look like a normal species. This species puts himself above all other species, not only shark but all animals. It is known for it’s ability to scare and intimidate all species. It tends to treat women with abso-fucking-lutely no respect or worth, like a piece of meat basically. Though they can be loving and play the charming role, beware… they use this for traps. Good qualities: Hmm.. let me get back to you on this one.; Bad qualities: Fierce, jealous, abusive, mean, nasty, and self absorbed.

Goblin Shark- Very little is known about this species. They tend to be classified as almost a myth. What is known about them is that they tend to treat women with respect and like to have a 50/50 partnership. They mate for life and usually are content in a quiet place. This species is also known to have good self esteem and high regard for life. Good qualities: Loyal, loving, mature, honest, funny, and giving; Bad qualities: They are very, very rare.

Mako Shark- While not as rare as the Goblin Shark, they are still few and far between. This species can be spotted by it’s unmistakable wide mouth. This species shares a lot in common with the Goblin shark. It tends to treat women with respect and honesty, though they can be very immature in their ways. This species is also known for it’s inability to commit. Though once they do, it is usually very special and long lasting. Good qualities: Honest, loyal, caring, and respecting; Bad qualities: Immature, can be perverted, and loners.

Nurse Shark- One of the most common types, it can be spotted by it’s ability to camouflage it’s self like every other species out there.. While they tend to treat women good, they also bounce around for years before finally committing. This species is known for it’s on and off behavior. This means that when it is in one of those aloof relationships they will treat their woman like gold… as long as their other shark buddies aren’t around. The species is also known to have more than one relationship at a time. Good qualities: Loving, giving, caring, and generally sexy in their own way; Bad qualities: Afraid of commitment, immature and self esteem issues.

Tiger Shark- It can usually be spotted by the stripes of gold running down it’s back. The one species that every other one wants to be like. This species is known for it’s ‘Go get it’ attitude and ability to feel comfortable any where. They tend to treat women well, but also forget about them easily too. Good qualities: Life of the party, assertive, caring, and generally honest; Bad qualities- They don’t commit! Always, always looking for something bigger and better.

Whale Shark- This species can be spotted by the fact that it is larger than life. Although rare in it’s own right, once they are spotted they are usually let go just as quick. Though they are not as needy and geeky as the Angel Shark, they do tend to be looked over. It treats woman with respect and love, but tends to get it’s heart broken very easily. Good qualities: Loving, loyal, and wonderful personalities; Bad qualities: Self esteem issues, not very trusting, and scared.

**Women... you can also fit into some of these catergories, as Pegs has just told me. Just thought you should know.**

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I've been Tagged

Wow! Posting twice in one day... I bet you don't believe it! Hell I hardly believe it but, I was tagged by Pegs with this little quiz thing so I thought I better do it. By the way... I tag Rants of Deb, Girl in her Underwear, and Miller Mayhem... Have fun!

1. Explain what ended your last relationship? Besides the fact that we shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place? Well that could be a multitude of things, and I don’t think you have the patience nor energy to read that list. LMAO
2. When was the last time you shaved? Last night
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? Dropping Jerrod off at daycare
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? Smoking, Yeah I know.. gross, but it keeps me sane. (Or at least that is my excuse... lol)
5. Are you any good at math? As a matter of fact I am…
6. Your prom night? Which one? I went to a few… lol
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Not that I am aware of.
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? Yes
9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile? Yep, sure do!
10. Last thing received in the mail? A post card from Janet in Japan!! YAY!
11. How many different beverages have you had today? Just water.
12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine? Most of the time.
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? As horrible as this is… Bryan Adams.. lol
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? Depends on my mood.
15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had? I had braces on and off for eight years of my youth…
16. What is out your back door? No back door actually.
17. Any plans for Friday night? Don’t think I have any.
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? No
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? Nope
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? I think I remember one time.. lol
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? At least twice… then it’s on to new ones.
22. Some things you are excited about? Right now? Or over all in life?
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Uhm… strawberry?
24. Describe your keychain(s)? A few keys, an Office Max perks card, and a picture of Kelly and Jerrod at the fair this year.
26. Where do you keep your change? In my change purse… makes sense doesn’t it?
27. What kind of winter coat do you own? Don’t.
28. What was the weather like on your graduation day? Uhm… if I remember correctly it rained all morning and then cleared up just in time for graduation.
29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Usually open.
30. Did U read this far? Consider yourself tagged (you know, if you wanna do it)!!

Which one am I? Are you?

I recently stumbled upon an interesting blog by the name of ‘Not Sex and the City.’ Most of you don’t know this, but I am (was?) a huge, HUGE, Sex and the City fan. I have watched every episode at least three times and was so into it that I closed myself off to the world every Sunday night during SATC. Unless you were dying, profusely bleeding, or giving birth I didn’t care and dayum sure didn’t want to know until the show was over. And yes, that included the previews for the next episode. Yes, pitiful I know, but I couldn’t resist. These four women were the epitome of sexy cool fun women. Over the years that it was on, and since, I have had many of the same friends and at least once a year or so I find myself comparing those friends, and myself, to those four wonderful characters of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda. I still have not figured out who is who, although I think most of us fit into more than one category. What’s more amazing is over the years the more I have thought about these four characters the more I have been able to place myself in their shoes at one point or another. I digress… The more I read this blog the more I started thinking of how at this point my life I am no longer sure which character I would fit into. So I thought I would have you all participate. I am going to break down each character as I see them and how I think I could fit in and I want you all to let me know what you think. Not only about me, but about yourselves also. C’mon… it might be fun!

I’ll start with Carrie. To me, she is the epitome of sexy, sophistication. She is smart, beautiful, and intelligent. She sees herself for everything she is, the good and bad and lives her life accordingly. While she has a passion for everything expensive, she also knows that it’s the little things in life that matter. She looks for that ever lasting kind of love, but enjoys the speed bumps on the way there. She is confident in her sexual being and knows how to have fun regardless of her surrounding. She is witty, sarcastic, and caring all rolled into one. Not to mention she has some of the best one liners. How do I fit into this character? To be honest, this is the one I was never really sure about. While I may try to be a lot of those things such as witty, sarcastic, intelligent, beautiful, I feel that I sometime lack the initiative to truly let go of myself enough. I see myself for a lot of what I am, though I tend to down play the bad along with the good at times. I am like her, in that I, not actively mind you, look for that ever lasting can’t breathe kind of love, and like her, have yet to find it.

How do you describe Samantha? Most see her as too sexually experienced and open, I see her as strong, sexy, and confident. Yes, she is promiscuous, but that’s what makes her the person she is. (Side note; just because a person is promiscuous does NOT make them easy, a whore, and/or a tramp.) She finds both sexes and sex to be a beautiful thing. She is extremely intelligent and very confident in her abilities, both in the bedroom and out, and in herself, mind and body. What most fail to see is that she is like every other human being. She does crave love. She craves to be that one special person in someone’s life, the way they would be in hers. Though the thought of commitment scares the shit out of her, yet she is open to the idea… on her terms. She is an ‘in control’ type of person, and doesn’t like to admit when she is wrong. She keeps a lot hidden, but when the time is right she lets out what needs to be known. Me as Samantha… this is where is gets a little more like me, in the past. Though it is not something I am overly proud to admit, I was promiscuous in my younger years. I do not regret for it has helped make me the person I am today, and no, I wouldn’t change it if I could. I knew what I wanted, for whatever reason it was at the time, and I got it. I am a strong, confident woman. I am sexy in my own right, and think sex is a beautiful thing. Like her, I do crave love, but don’t find it necessary to be in constant search of it. I am just as happy single as I am in a relationship of whatever kind. The thought of commitment has always made me a little jumpy, and especially now after the Steve fiasco, but I do still want that relationship that will end all others for me. Though I am confident in my abilities, both in and out of the bedroom, I do tend to lack a true confidence in myself.

This is where I tend to have a little difficulty. I have never truly been able to apply my thoughts of myself to Charlotte, but find her appealing and sometimes appalling at the same time. She is truly the vision of American royalty. Not a hair out of place or a word misspoken. A true classic, girl next door, lady in my eyes. Though she tends to be thought of as air headed or simple minded, she is not. She thinks everything is roses until proven its shit. She gives everybody and everything the benefit of the doubt and sees the good in all. Love is her biggest treasure and strongest demise. To have the correct image seen by everyone is very important, regardless of whether what they see is fact or fiction. That is what I find appalling about her. She tends to put on a show for the world to see and then collapses back into her world when the show is over. I do tend to see a little of myself as far as love and benefit of the doubt traits, everything else is not typical me.

Ahhh…. Miranda… Sarcastic, brainy, independent, boyish, scared, strong, and loyal. She is the odd one out in this group of four. Not for any particular reason mind you, but she is different. She goes against the grain, she runs with a different pack… how ever you want to say it. And I think this is why I feel I fit with her more often than not. She is so very smart, yet she doesn’t run from it or try to hide it as some women do. She is beautiful, though she doesn’t always believe it. It also comes as a big shock when someone, besides those that are close to her and even sometimes then, points it out. Don’t get me wrong, she by no means think herself ugly, just not as pretty as the rest. She realized early in her adult life that she didn’t need (key word need) any one to live a whole life or satisfying life. Miranda is where the words casual sexy began. She is not a ‘girly, girl’ like the rest of the girls. She has her own style and doesn’t feel the need to show everything God gave her to the world to feel sexy or pretty. In her mind, you will like her for her and that’s the way it should be. Though she feels this way, it also scares her for numerous reasons. It scares her because though she realizes that she can live a happy life alone, it doesn’t mean she wants to. It also frightens her because in the past she has been too strong in herself and has scared men away. But over all, the thing I like the most about her, is that she is loyal. Her friends are her family and she would give anything she could for each one of them. Though it can be hard at times to be friends with her because she tends to be so forthcoming and outspoken with her views and opinions, she is not closed minded towards her friend’s views and opinions either. The only way I can compare myself to Miranda is to tell you to read the paragraph I have just written again, only change Miranda to Marci.

Wow… I had more fun writing this than I originally thought I would. I was afraid that I would give my thoughts on the characters and not on myself, but I didn’t. I was open and truly my in my responses to the characters. I hope you all enjoy!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

To Vote or Not to Vote.... hmmm...

I am going to go out on a limb here and admit something that most in the South would consider personal, but I feel that it being 'that' day then it can be talked about. What am I talking about you might be asking yourself, but if you have been anywhere near TV, radio, or print in the last 48 hours then you know that today is Voting day. I have quite a few opinions on the years vote, but feel that because I don't nesscarily keep up with it right now... Look, unless it has talking animals or bright colors my three year doesn't believe it exists... Then I don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to views or expressing my opinions. I will say this though, because I am sick to fucking death of people that have no idea what they are saying putting it out there for the world to hear, then getting pissed when people talk or look at them like they are fudiots (just a little clarification- fucking + idiots= fudiots). These are my views and/or opinions on certain things that are being voted on today. You are more than welcome to leave your comments as usual, whether good or bad. I welcome all... This is why America is America.
  1. George W. Bush. While I think it is far past time to pull the troops or make a move, I feel that he has been a decent president. I am by no means saying that he hasn't made mistakes or has been the best, but I can't fault him for some of the things he has done. We all love to look at people in authority and blame them for things we can't figure out or can't place blame on. This is true whether it be the President or a teacher or a parent or simply a boss. It is easy to look at someone and say that you would have done things differently if it were you, but would you? Would you really have let 9/11 and the following actions happen and not have retaliated in one way or another? No, I didn't think so. As I said earlier, I don't agree with everything, but I am one of the few that will admit that I am proud to have had 'W' as a president.
  2. John Kerry. Simple put... He can bite my ever loving pasty white kiester. Not that I really need to say anything more, but how many times does one man have to shove his foot so far down his throat that he can do cartwheels by coughing before we realize that if he does this before possible becoming President what the hell will he do in office??!?
  3. Jeb Bush. Like 'W' I don't agree with everything that he has done for Florida, but there are more that I would agree with than not. He has done a lot for this state. I had the opportunity after Hurrican Ivan in 2004 to personally witness if he was going to stand up for his state or not. I must say that he did. Even though there was four thousand and one other hurricanes that year, many with as much damage as Paradise he was in the area within 36 hours of the disaster. And he stuck by his word. He promised more food and water, more shelter, fast response from FEMA and Red Cross and nearly everything was run to perfection. He helped all local economies and small town governments as much as humanly (governmently??) possible. I am proud to call Jeb my Governor and it will stay that way.
  4. Immigrants. I will put this simply too. (And also agree with Deb on every point. You haven't read it?? Well go here. No really.. It's great!) Either learn the language or go the fuck HOME!! It really is that simple. Do NOT cross into MY country and expect to be treated like a king or expect me to learn YOUR language to make YOU feel comfortable. My polite hostess level ran out about 5 years ago when I was turned down for a job because I wasn't bilingual. WTF!!???!? I live in Paradise people... NOT Mexico!
Those are just some of my views, and like I said, they may not be all that educated or up to date, but there they are and they are mine. Not yours, nor anyone else's. I am tired of all the political nonsense that surrounds elections. The he said vs. he said shit and everything that goes along with it. Not to be cheesy, but can't we all just get along?

Monday, November 06, 2006

Don't stop.. yeah.. right there!

Great Weekend!! I actually spent all day Saturday out. Without Jerrod! For the first time in two months I was without my child. Now, don’t get me wrong. You all know that I love my son, with everything I am, but… You need a break every once in a while so that when I say I am going to rip his arms off and beat him to death with them I won’t actually do it. … … C’mon people… laugh with me here…. Well, I thought it was funny.

Back to the weekend. Pegs, Peg’s Momma, and I all got together Saturday and went to a Massage show. It was pretty neat, and yes… we did get a free massage out of it. Let me tell you something… I now know what I want for Christmas. His name is Lil Mike and he does this amazing thing with his hands….. Yeah, just thinking about it I am semi-relaxed again. He almost had me saying "Don't stop... yeah, right there baby!" It was niiiiiiiiiice! (Said in my most southern accent and about 14 syllables.) Other than that, it was just another weekend. So I am going to steal this little meme from Peg’s blog and do it.

Pick three items for each
Twenty Years Ago I...
* I lived with my Dad in
Smallestville, Tenn., and had recently succeeded in running off Rayna, the wicked stepmother.
* I met Russell and so my life changed.
* My best friend was Amber, I don’t think even her Mom could tell us apart when we were attached at the hip.

Ten Years Ago I...
* I was in my third year of my relationship with Billy.
* My best friends were Billy, Jonny, Jasmine, and Jillian; We were the brat pack of
* I inherited the family vehicle. Dubbed ‘The Tank’, because nothing or no one got in its way. Not even the fence posts. (Yeah, don’t even ask… I won’t tell the story... lmao)

Five Years Ago I...
* My best friend was Peg and we were kicking ass and taking names on the dating scene at a certain honky tonk in town
* I made one of the hardest, most difficult, heart wrenching decisions I have ever, and hopefully, will ever make.
* I moved around… A

Three Years Ago I...
* I married the biggest loser in the world.
* Had second my beautiful son.
* Was diagnosed with cervical cancer and beat it down with a bat baby… YAY ME!

One Year Ago I...
* Realized that not everything was right or my fault; Though none of these realizations helped me with depression.

* Screamed in silence for help of any kind, while I watched myself slowing sinking further and further.

* Steve and I split.

This Year I...
* I got my best friend Peg back in my life full time, right where she is supposed to be.
* I went through one of the most painful experiences of my life. Ok, well I went through a few of them I know… but that one defiantly took the cake.
* I realized that I have so much respect and admiration for all the single moms before me.

Yesterday I...
* I was up at the butt crack of dawn,
6:15, and in the grocery store before 7:30. This would be a record…..
* Found a couple of new blogs of interest.
* Caught up on a lot of shows from last week.

Today I...
* Realized how boring my life really was yesterday.
* Will pick Kelly up from school and wait for Pegs to get home so I can rip her hair through another cap and continue the female bondage act she calls ‘dyeing her hair.’
* Will eventually fall asleep… somehow, someway.

Tomorrow I will...
* Go to work, file papers, answer phones, yell at the new guy, and take a nap somewhere in there.
* Go to my dear mother’s after work.
* VOTE! (Thanks for reminding me Pegs.)

In the Next Year I...
* Will hopefully have Jerrod out of his terrible 2’s… and 3’s… God help me if he has the fucking 4’s.
* Restart school and become what I wanted to be when I grew up.
* Remind myself, Jerrod, family, friends, and Pegs, Al, and Kelly why I love them, and that I am thankful everyday for them being a part of my life.

Friday, November 03, 2006


Let me tell you all a little story. Beware: This could get graphic. No, not in that way people... c’mon... give me a little credit.

So you all know that Steve and I are not on the best of terms. Although, he likes to think differently. You also know, that he is not the most responsible, mature, or giving person on the world. So, what I am about to tell might not shock you in the least, but I am pissed beyond pissed and needed to get it all out one way or another. Here we go…..

Since I met Steve in 2002 he has had 4 different jobs. I am sure you are thinking that’s not all that bad, but let me clue you in on something. 3 of those 4 have been this year alone!

Let me reiterate that… 3 in LESS THAN A YEAR!!!!!

Granted I know that he moved to the state of StuckUpMomsAss for a while (Or was it TurnTailandRan… or wait, maybe it was I’mAFUCKINGLOSER? Yeah, I think that was the one.) and now he is back in Paradise, but c’mon now. 2 of those 3 have been in the last two months! And the one he holds now takes the cake. He is a car salesman. A FUCKING CAR SALESMAN… am I the only one the sees the irony in this?

I digress…

I was quite surprised when he told me this, but told him that whatever was going to keep the child support rolling in I was all for. I asked him what he would be making and he told me that he would get $600 every two weeks and commission on top of that. I thought it sounded a little too good to be true. Well, I am sure that you can all figure out that I was right. SurFUCKINGprise! He gets a $1,200 a month ‘draw’ that is basically considered a advance on all of his commissions. Meaning, that if he sells x amount of cars and his total commission for the month is $1,307 he would only get a commission check of $107. Of course, he doesn’t bother to explain it the right way the first time, because knew it wouldn’t fly with me. So, I get a call today from him telling me that he is not going to be able to give me all of the child support this time, that he will have to catch it up with the next check. Then he also bothers to tell me that he will not be getting Jerrod this weekend either, because there is something going on at the lot.

And by the way, no, he didn’t give any more dayum information than ‘Something going on at the lot.’ Shocker, huh? No I didn’t think so either.

Does anyone but me think he is the biggest loser in the world??? Wait… that would make me a worse loser for marrying him… hmm… don’t know that I like that too much. Am I being to picky? Should I just accept the fact that at least he pays me child support? I mean he never sees his son. When he does, I supply all pull ups, clothes, and extras. On top of that, he never has Jerrod for more than about 8 or 9 hours before he brings him back. Let’s face it… Jerrod knows who his father is ok, but it so terribly sad when a 3 year old gets more upset over Al, Pegs, and Kelly leaving than his own father. That’s how little they are together. So again I ask… Am I being too picky? Am I expecting too much?

PS- Never, EVER, go to a local bank for a cashier’s check when you are already pissed at something else. You will get the new girl, that has no idea what a cashier’s check is, let alone how to do one. Just thought I would throw in some helpful advice for someone out there.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Stolen Idea

Ok... I am stealing this from a friend of mine, who got it from a friend. I thought it was really cool, and of course because of that I had to do it too... lol. Go see one of them here.
1. You are my laughter. We have shared so much in this life, and I can’t wait to share more. Just remember, that no matter how rough things seem, we will always be connected to even things out.
2. I hope against hope that you will one day realize why things turned out this way. Though we share so little, you mean the world to me and will always be in my heart and mind.
3. Why do you treat me this way? Why am I not good enough for you, but everyone else is? I hope you never feel a tenth of the pain you have caused me. Over everything, I am still me and wouldn’t want anyone to hurt in that way, no matter how you tried to convince me that the world was out to get me.
4. Be You! No matter how others try to make you feel or act. Deep down they love you. You are one of my oldest and dearest friends, no matter the time or distance apart.
5. You make me sick. Grow up, be the person you need to be, and by all means stop waiting for people to live your life for you. It will never turn out the way you want it if you can’t be the person you need to be. Realize what you lost and make your life better from it.
6. How is it possible to love you with everything that I am and dislike some things about you at the same time? I can never, nor do I want to, see my life without you in it. You are my soul, yet I just wish you could take a step back and see yourself for what you are. All the great things and the bad. I don’t know what I would do if I were to lose you, I love you with every part of my being. I don’t truly think you will ever understand how much I truly mean that.
7. My heart is full with you in my life. I wish I could give you the world on a silver platter, and I promise to always do my best to do that. I am so proud that I will be the one walking with you as you accomplish everything you set out to do.
8. As much as you have hurt me in the past, I love you more with every day that passes. I am not, nor will I ever be, like you, I just hope you can one day learn to accept that and still love me. I learn from you every day and you will never know how much you truly mean to me. For that I will always be sorry.
9. Enjoy every minute of everyday. Love yourself and the people around you with everything you are. Stop expecting to know everything and appreciate what you have right now.
10. Love me. Accept Me. Stop acting and show me how you feel before it’s too late. You have taught me so much in the life. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.
11. Ask for help. Quit waiting for things to go right on their own Stop pretending that you don’t hurt and let someone in all the way. You are the greatest person I know and I love you for everything you are. The good and the bad.
12. Leave me alone. Can’t you see that you bring nothing but heartache and anger to people?
13. You have changed me. I will never forget the words you broke, but hope that one day I can forgive. I never want to lose you, but am afraid that I have or will. I will always love you, for the way you loved me, but mostly I will love you just because you are you. Don’t push me away again… you will lose me.
14. There is no stronger word than hate, but if there was I would feel that way too. Why me? Why after all that time did you do it? Why after everything did you still want to punish me more? Still, with all these questions, you have made a difference in my life. Whether that is for the better or worse is yet to be known, and I paid dearly for that change, but there is a part of me that feels it was worth it. I can see you and your kind for what you are now.
15. You are a beautiful flower. I am so glad I was one of the few that got to see you blossom. I only hope I am around for many more.
16. I always have, and always will, love you. You taught me patience, love, longing, self worth, and pain. Why couldn’t you let go of yourself enough when you had me instead of throwing me away? Why did you have to realize it when it was too late? Through all… I still wait for you.
17. Why, why… WHY? I LOATHE you for what you did to me. I can only hope that you rot in hell for what you put me through. I wait for the day when the world sees you for the disgusting piece of demonic shit you are.
18. I wish all the best in the world for you, but stop looking for love. It’s right in front of you and it always has been.
19. You were my shooting star in life that burned out too soon. The little time I was allotted to spend with you has stayed with me all the years later, I miss you so much.
20. It’s ok to let people in. I hope you will one day realize that not everyone is out to use and abuse you. There are some of us that love with everything we are, yet are scared to show you for fear of you retreating back into your shell.

So, there it is. These 20 people that are either in my life, or have made a statement. You can try to figure out who you are if you like, and some may apply to more than one person, but I will never tell. I love you all in your own way, and love that we are who we are.