Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Information of the old and new

Well for the two or three of you that still read this, though I wonder why as I am such a bad blogger, here is an update of the last month of my life.

Jerrod: Well, he made it to four, much to the surprise of me and probably him. The magic age of four has not brought him out of any of the 'terrible' phases; just given him more reason to say that he is a big boy now. Other than that, I finally got him to hit 35 pounds... it only took me right at four years. I don't understand where he gets the great metabolism from, but I hope he keeps it. He has entered a new phase though. I am sure all of you parents can attest to the 'Why?' phase. Yes, we have reached it and made me wonder 'why' there are some many things in life that are confusing. You never think about everyday things until a four year old points it out and asks why. Being the parent you of course start to answer, only to find yourself dumbfounded as you can not remember yourself why it is that way. There are many mornings as we drive the hour to school and work that I ask myself how I became an adult seeing as how I can't even remember why the four way stop goes in rotation for turns and who gets to go first. (And yes, that was an actual question out of his mouth.) Hopefully all of the things that I am telling him are going in one ear and out the other, and eventually he will learn the real way things are supposed to be and not his mother's recollection.

The job: It is still going well. The girl that is selling her house is still there, and still waiting for the house to sell. But, I think that I am making a good impression and convincing my boss that I am definitely the person for the job. Here's to hoping anyway. I am keeping my options open though, and have applied for a few other jobs locally. They all pay more than what I am making, but are not the exact industry that I want to be in. Either way, where I am now has its pay offs even if the money isn't all that great. As of today, I established myself as a patient for one of the PA's in the office. It's actually the same one that Peg has seen and feels so comfortable with. I must admit that I almost gave myself a panic attack... ok I did give myself a panic attack before going into work today, and then again before going to the actual appointment. Over the past few years my anxiety has grown to a point that at times I don't feel like I can deal with it. I know it has a lot to do with my past and everything that I went through in recent years also, but until recently I hadn’t really come to terms with it. Thanks to Peg and a looming birthday of my own, AJ’s and also Jerrod’s a lot of things hit me at one time. Throw Steve into that mix and it was just a breakdown waiting to happen. As always, Pegs came to my rescue… well her and about a dozen glass bottles. (Don’t ask, don’t tell… lol) I have hopefully started on my way to recovery or at least learning a way to deal with it all in a more healthy way. Well that and the fact that my new doc has put me on anti-depressants/ anti-anxiety pills and also recommended that I put myself into therapy. I am along for the ride, and can only hope that I come out of this with a better perspective than what I have now.

The new beau: As I am sure you have all seen on Peg’s blog, there is a new man in my life. We shall just call him Beau and he is not only adorable, but funny and sweet. While he may be a little on the child like and hyper side, I really enjoy being around him. We actually have quite a bit in common, and not surprisingly, even went to a few of the same schools at the same time. Although we don’t remember each other, it was odd and funny to find it out. I like him a lot and can only hope that we can continue to get to know one another. I am taking it one day at a time, not getting too involved too quickly and definitely trying not to get too emotionally involved too quickly. Although I do enjoy being around him and spending time with him, I have been burned too much in the past to jump into anything too quickly. Not to mention, I am still working on me and that is more important than a relationship, no matter how good it feels to know that I have a man in my life that enjoys being around me as much as I enjoy being around him. It also doesn’t hurt that he is not hard to look at!

As always, thanks for tuning in and your words of support. I will be back in another month or so with another update I am sure. Hope all is well with all of you… *muah*